What's my name?

For once, I actually had a pretty good weekend. And I got out of the house!

Saturday morning started off slowly. Ma made me breakfast and then I baked some biscuits for Holly and puttered around doing housework for a while. Since Ma and Gabriel were in their house cleaning frenzy, I decided to take Monty for a walk.

It has been stupidly windy around these parts for the last few days, and there has been non-stop rain which means that there has been a bit of flooding in my hood, so I knew I'd get dirty. I’ll be honest; I don’t walk Monty very often because I’m a lazy whore so he was pretty damn excited to be off on an adventure. There were branches strewn across the footpaths and puddles all up in my face, so we were a tad slow moving.

About ten minutes into our walk we encountered a bush turkey who was all “what’s up” to Monty and Monty was all “not much, man” and then the turkey ran away because I called it a slut. We continued along until we got down to the river, where you could see where it had risen to as all the grass was flattened and the pavement was cracked.

I love it when it floods so I was all excited; skipping around and taking pictures on my mobile while Monty looked at me like I was retarded. There’s a little sand island I usually cross the river to get to, but the water was head high and flowing rapidly so I didn’t even attempt to get over there, which sucked, because I like sitting there while Monty plays in the water and tries to catch lizards in the grass. Have you ever seen a dog try to catch lizards? It’s so cute when they stick their heads in the grass and stand still and then pounce around for a while.

As we were making our way home, we got swooped by some asshole birds (when I say ‘we’, I mean me), so I was starting to get irritated. My older brother showed up with his puppy Fynn, so Monty ran off to prance with him. After lunch, I had my customary nanna nap so that I would be lovely and refreshed when I went to the Coast later in the afternoon.

Unfortunately, that was when mum decided she was going to mow the lawn, so she was going up and down the front yard, which just so happens to be outside my bedroom window. I swear she did it on purpose. So I didn’t get much of a nap, and had a headache when I got up.

Just as I was going outside to have a smoke, my older brother (Chris) rocked up again and asked me if I wanted to go on a walk with him, his girlfriend (Yoland), and Monty & Fynn. I agreed, since I had nothing else to do and off we went again. This time we went down to a different part of the river, where there is a dirt path running along the side of it and it leads to a suspension bridge near the old Koala sanctuary.

The river was still higher than normal, and the path had been washed away in a lot of places so we had to wade through pools of water and stretches of mud so I ended up leaving my shoes on the path and continuing on barefoot. Chris kept saying we should go back, but Yoland and I soldiered on, because we’re tough bitches like that, so he had to as well. Fynn kept running into the water and scaring the shit out of everyone when he got too close to the currents, so we wandered back home.

On the way back, we passed an almighty stench and naturally Chris went to investigate. He found a massive fish, way up above us on the slope that had obviously been swept up there in the floods and wasn’t able to get back to the river. Poor little guy. Chris poked him with a stick for a while and then we continued on.

When we got home, Chris, Yoland and Fynn went back to their place and I got ready to drive to the Coast. I was pretty excited about going up there, because I was to meet one of my twitter friends. I know what you’re thinking: What if she is some crazy ass bitch, and locks you in a cupboard and makes you touch her inappropriately? Well I was pretty sure I’d be the craziest one in the meeting, so I could beat her crazy off easily. Heh heh beat her crazy off.

Anyhoo, I set my GPS to the Coast so David Hasselhoff’s voice could guide me, and set off. I went to an old family friend’s (Kath) place first so I could meet her new puppy and because Holly wasn’t home yet.

I had a good catch up session with Carol and her family while I waited for Holly to get home, and got to meet their gorgeous little puppy, Vala.

Isn’t she cute?

After that I headed off to Holly’s place and it wasn’t anywhere near as awkward as I thought it would be. She was stupidly easy to get along with, so we had dinner, chatted away for a few hours, watched Most Haunted, laughed a lot and I even got hit on by her dog a few times. After that I went back to Kath’s to stay the night.

The next morning at Kath’s, her parents came over and brought her nanna with them. Her poor nanna is 93 and has dementia. I’ve never been around someone with dementia before so I had no idea how to act, or what to expect. Her nanna kept asking me what her name was, and was calling Kath’s kids the wrong names. She seemed to be happy enough, but it was still horrid to see what the disease had done to her.

The kids somehow coaxed her into taking her false teeth out, so everyone had a chuckle and the kids seemed suitably horrified. After they all went home, Kath and I went shopping, where I bought Monty seven million toys for his birthday, and some more gifts for Ally’s birthday (NO I’M NOT TELLING YOU WHAT I GOT YOU). After lunch, I drove the hour or so home, and had a much deserved nap.

I thought I'd have a shitty weekend, but it ended up being pretty dang awesome. There were no unicorns or double rainbows, but I enjoyed it all the same.