"I'm a big believer in The Secret"

This conversation happened yesterday at college. I only go once a month, but it still manages to completely drain me of any and all hope. This was with a girl that started yesterday. Guess who got to be her buddy? We had to pair up and practice asking each other open ended questions.

Her: Uhm okay so I have to ask you some open ended questions.

Me: Yes.

H: Okay...*giggles* This is hard.

M: *smiles and nods*

H: You have beautiful hair.

M: Oh. Uhm thanks.

H: Is it real? *points to the ends*

M: Yes.

H: Oh, I was just wondering. Because I’ve been trying to grow my hair for ages, but it’s really hard.

M: Oh. Dang.

H: Yeah. Hey I really like your top. It’s beautiful.

M: Thanks.

H: Yup. Real beautiful. *pauses* So what’s your middle name?

M: Rae.

H: Really?! Omg, that’s so unusual. But such a beautiful name. Like, seriously beautiful. Wow. Yeah, so unusual and beautiful.

M: Uh, yeah.

H: Hey look! My daughter wrote an open ended question. *giggles and points to a scribble on her page*

M: *pretends not to have heard* So, uh. Open ended questions?

H: Oh yeah. Gosh, this is hard. Uhm.

M: Ahuh. How about I ask you some?

H: Okay! I still can’t get over your middle name. *writes it in her book*

M: It’s spelt R A E.

H: Oh! Wow. That’s even more beautiful.

M: Uhm, yeah. So, tell me about your job.

H: *launches into a disgustingly boring story, with words like “amazing”, “spectacular”, “positive energy” and “meant to be”*

M: Oh, look, time’s up.

By my calculations, that equates to five months of my life wasted. She drained me of that much life, it’ll end up taking five months off the end of my life. Great. Thanks lady!