Shitdamn, this is half assed.

On Sunday my nan and pop held a lunch with uncles, aunties and grandchildren aplenty. As usual, I sat there awkwardly while everyone else chatted away and made jokes about Jeremy’s toes (they’re like raptors apparently). I was at the end of the table with my sunglasses on (I have sensitive eyes, okay?), staring at the table and playing with the tablecloth, when I’d look up numerous times to see my dad or uncle waving at me because they thought I was looking at them. Then came the questions that inevitably arise at every family occasion; How’s work? What are you doing with yourself these days? What’s been happening? Etc.

I always answer these questions the same way, yet they’re asked time and time again. WHY, GOD, WHY? I know my family aren’t that interested in my life, so why? Why can’t we talk about things we haven’t talked about before? Like how preparations for the zombie apocalypse are going, and where we will disappear to when it happens. I’d love to talk about that. I would so be involved in that shit. In fact, I’d probably be the main person in that conversation, you know, because I’m really prepared and know everything. But unfortunately, that never happens. I did however, have a conversation with my auntie about how great the sex scenes in the Sookie Stackhouse books are, which was um, interesting.

My dad was there with his Thai girlfriend, and I felt so bad for her. She came over from Thailand for three months knowing limited English, so I can only imagine how awkward she felt when everyone was talking and laughing around her. You could tell she was getting pretty over it and dad was trying his hardest to get her involved, but it proved too difficult for all of them.

Eventually people started leaving, which meant people stopped asking me if I was okay, and I was able to relax a bit. I had to drive my dad and Jen to the airport at 9pm that night, so at around 4pm I went off for a nap. It was a tad unsuccessful though, so I got up again at 5pm. I was pretty cranky, and just wanted to go home by this stage but as I couldn't, I sat around quietly, reading and just generally ignoring people.

My auntie then proclaimed that she wanted to go for a walk, so I went with her as I was feeling pretty bored. We wandered down to the park and I bitched about the situation with dad and she bitched about my uncle (her husband) and how his kids treat them like shit. We walked around the park a few times before heading back to the house, where I once again sat around quietly.

The rest of the night was just as boring until 9, when dad, Jen and I bundled into my car and set off for the airport. Dad demanded I change the music, so I put Duran Duran on and lit up a smoke or three to keep myself occupied. At the airport Jen was quiet, and dad was getting annoyed at her. Eventually she went off to board and gave dad a hug and kiss (I got a hug too! Score!) before leaving. Dad looked like he was about to tear up, so I made excuses and went off to the toilet to give him a minute. When I came out, he told me how shitty it was that she had left but that it was part of the culture for goodbyes to be so quick.

We left the airport and dad fell asleep on the way back to nan and pop’s place. It was about 1am when we got home, so I went off to bed straight away.
How tiring.